G.B. LINDSEY - AUTHOR

And what are we up to today?

Very Helpful Rules I have learned from horror films

8/23/2014

 
Just some helpful life lessons I have learned from my favorite movie genre...



1) When your house turns old and British, move out.

2) When your house turns old and Japanese, that ship has officially sailed. Make sure you enjoy the time you have left!

3) When it dies, you'd better make sure it's dead. In fact, kill it twice.

4) If you think you need to open it, you don't. If someone says you need to open it, you don't. If it tells you you need to open it, it's wrong. You don't need to open it. Do whatever it takes, up to and including giving yourself a lobotomy, but do. not. open.

5) If I need to explain hitchhikers to you, it's already too late.

6) The shit shall hitteth the fan-eth, and thou shalt become much more knowledgeable about thy friends and acquaintances.

7) Civilization + zombies = asshole people.

8) Civilization + apocalypse = asshole people.

9) Civilization + any variable under the sun = asshole people. Go live in the country.

10) 17.5% of country bumpkins are trying to eat you for dinner.

11) Pick up a damn weapon. Hello.

12) Save a life, think in 3-D. That includes above you, below you, and inside you.

13) If you found it in the attic, the basement, the shed, the lockbox, the chimney, the closet, the trunk, the mysterious delivery crate, or if you bought it at an estate sale because you thought it would look cute hanging on your wall, you made a mistake. It's okay, we all make mistakes. The worse mistake would be to not kill it with fire.

14) Space, the final frontier. Operative word? Final.

15) Lots of children are cute. Children that are not cute: those born after a spontaneous blackout, after a prolonged period of abstinence, or after trying your neighbors' homemade dessert... those who enjoy playing with dolls, talking to their closets, or crawling on ceilings... those who have no discernible date of conception, no trouble speaking in archaic tongues, and no reason to be standing by your bed at godawful o'clock while holding a kitchen implement. Above all, beware of kids who don't mind wearing their hair in a bowl cut.

16) Cats don't really have nine lives. It's a metaphor. Under no circumstances should you attempt to bring them back to life once they are deceased.

...and of course,

17) If Sean Bean is in your movie, just try to stay alive longer than he does.

0 Comments

    Author

    Hello! My name is Grete and welcome to my writing blog! I am a writer or romance, horror, and general observation 
    represented by Saritza Hernandez.

    Archives

    July 2020
    June 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    September 2017
    February 2017
    July 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    June 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012

    Categories

    All
    12 Hikes 12 Weeks
    Analysis
    Author Interview
    Book Rec
    Books
    Captain America
    Editing
    Fun
    HitRecord
    Lgbtiqa
    Movies
    NaNoWriMo
    Neverwood
    Newsletter
    Real Life
    Television
    Writing
    Writing Exercise
    Zombies

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Blog
  • My Books
  • About Me
  • New Release
  • NEW! My project pinboards
  • Contact Me
  • Home
  • Blog
  • My Books
  • About Me
  • New Release
  • NEW! My project pinboards
  • Contact Me